What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you spend hours trying to fix what you perceive to be flaws in your appearance? Do you worry about what others may think of your image? Perhaps you are just too critical of yourself. Do you ever wonder about what God thinks about the way you look? No person is one-dimensional. Each of us actually has three views. There is the view that others have of us, the view that we have of ourselves and there is the view that God has of us. In this section we are going to take a closer look at the view we have of ourselves. Self-image or self-esteem plays a very important part in who you are so you should be aware of how you feel about how you look.

I asked you in the last devotion to write down who you think you are. Now I'd like for you to make another list. This time, I'd like for you to write down who you think you would like to be. List all the qualities you think you would like to have. After you have this list, compare the two. How close does your first assessment of yourself come to the ideal image you have of yourself?

Many times we make unrealistic goals in life and, likewise, we have unrealistic ideas about the way we should look. Go back to your earliest memory as a child. What do you remember being told about yourself? Did your parents tell you that you were smart? Did they brag to their friends about your grades or your athletic abilities? Did they tell you they loved you when they tucked you in your bed at night? Did your mother ever tell you she would love you no matter what you did? If you grew up in an environment like this, chances are you have a fairly high self-esteem and a high level of self-confidence. You probably know who you are, where you came from and where you want to go in life and you most likely do not have any problem when it comes to taking your stand for Christianity or witnessing for God.

But, on the other hand, if you came from a family that was constantly fighting, or you didn’t get that unconditional love from your parents, you may not have the same level of self-esteem. Maybe you had a parent or adult in your childhood who constantly told you that you were a failure or you were too fat or too thin or not as good at sports as a sibling or any number of things that made you feel inferior. Many people carry those feelings with them all the way through life. If you are one of those people, it is time now to let those feelings go and adopt new feelings to replace them. The adult that convinced you to see yourself in an inferior light when you were young no longer has the power to influence your thoughts about yourself now. Even if they are still a part of your life, you do not have to listen to their negative comments today; you can negate them with positive comments of your own. It is time to let all those things go and develop the image God meant for you to have when he created you in His likeness. God knew you weren’t stupid. He knew you were not ugly. He created all people beautiful and perfect in His eyes and that’s all that matters – so don’t ever let anyone put down God’s beautiful creation. I did that myself until one day I realized that I was actually allowing that person to steal my life. I stopped. The way I stopped is by simply telling them that they made me feel bad when they said things that bothered me. Most people will be shamed into stopping. If they don’t, you should just avoid them as much as possible. I actually know a minister who has a problem with this. I think it is a shame. It detracts from his otherwise good sermons. We really do not have to put down others to lift up ourselves or what we are doing.

Are you a kitty that sees a lion when you look in the mirror or a lion that sees a meek little kitty? Research shows that most of the things we say to ourselves about ourselves are over 80% negative. Negative self-talk is discouraging and only makes us unhappy. It can only create roadblocks to getting what we want. Our subconscious mind is responsible for most of our behavior and can’t tell the difference between the truth and a lie. It’s kind-of like a computer, it records everything we put into it, regardless of importance. Our subconscious then tries to make sure that whatever we have told it becomes fact. If we continually look in our mirror and tell ourselves we are fat, our subconscious doesn’t know the difference, therefore, it sets about to make us fat. If, on the other hand, we look in our mirror and tell ourselves we look thinner and look as if we are beginning to lose weight, our subconscious will begin to try to make that happen. If we get up every morning and tell ourselves how bad we feel and how rotten our lives are, pretty soon we believe this is true. But if we arise every morning with a positive attitude and tell ourselves we are going to have a wonderful day and we have a great life we will soon begin to see an improvement in our lives.

Negative self-talk begins with words like ”I’m not” or ”I can’t” and ”I’ll never”. When my kids did homework I always helped them with everything except math. I always said, “I’m not good at math; get your dad to help with that.” The fact is, I didn’t have much confidence in my ability to do math. My dad was really good at math and that was the only subject I ever had any help with at home. I was always on the honor roll in school, usually an all A student. But I still struggled with math. It was not my favorite subject. Looking back now I can see that the reason was because my dad made me feel inferior in that subject. I can remember him drilling me on my multiplication table when I was a child and if I got one wrong he either ridiculed me for not knowing them or got mad at me. Think about something you feel you are not good at. Maybe you can recall an experience from your past that will help you understand why you feel inferior or inept in that subject.

Objects in mirror are larger than they appear.

No two people see the exact same thing when they look in the mirror and no one has ever looked in a mirror and not found at least one thing they didn’t like about themselves. Human nature prompts you to look for the bad instead of the good in your image. If your nose is even the slightest bit larger than normal it probably looks huge to you and you feel like people focus on that when they look at you when, in truth, most people probably don’t even notice it.

We all talk to ourselves, whether we do it out loud or not. Have you ever listened to what you are saying to yourself? If not, you need to start listening to all the negative thoughts that run through your mind each day and learn to replace them with positive images. When you stop negative self-talk you can begin to take the first steps toward a positive self-image.

You have written down who you think you are and who you think you would like to be. Now I want you to make a list of all your qualities – good and bad. If you sing, write it down. If you play an instrument, if you’re a good cook, if you can type, if you can paint, if you read fast … everything you feel you do well. If you feel you have good nails, skin or pretty hair, write it down. Then write down everything you don’t like about yourself as well. When you are finished, I think you will be surprised. Most of us possess more good qualities than bad (or it at least evens out). The point is, your self-image has been carved over time but it isn’t carved in stone, it can be changed!

All of us are not going to win Nobel Prizes but our accomplishments have worth. When we recognize that, we can begin to understand that we are important and also start to have self-worth. We can change the way we think about ourselves and have a more positive self-image. It will take time, work and conscience effort but it can be done.

What kind of effect do other people have on your image. Do you allow other people’s opinion of you to influence the way you dress, act and even the way you think about yourself? Have you ever stopped wearing a piece of clothing you liked because someone told you it didn’t look good on you? Have you ever changed your hairstyle because someone else told you they didn’t like it? Have you ever turned down a dessert you really wanted because someone reminded you, in an unflattering way, it was fattening? If you answered yes to any of these questions you are probably a victim to conforming to someone else's image of what you should be.

Read David Leonhardt’s fairy tale of Tiger and the Three Pigs on the next page and see how Tiger got caught in the trap of allowing others to improve his image.

LOVE, MEME

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